Performing with intention, in the present moment and without judging.

I would like to invite you to try something a bit strange. Set an alarm for a minute or two. Then whatever you're doing right now, do it at half speed (Praxis, 2023). Whether it's drinking your coffee, reading this text, raising an arm in the air, etc., do it at half time and let time run.

What do you think about it? Did you notice anything different in your body and the movements you made? What sensations, emotions, or thoughts do you remember experiencing? Did you notice that you were noticing? I decided to drink some water. I felt the movement of my arm cause the sleeve of my shirt to rub against my forearm. I also felt the weight of the glass and how my arm compensated for it to be able to be carried. I also noticed how the glass feels on my lips and how the cool water moistened my mouth and lips. It was curious to notice how my tongue moves while I drink the water and how my throat made an automatic movement and that “glu, glu” sound we make when passing water. I almost got choked and it was interesting to notice that feeling of slight fear, which felt like a warmth in my chest. I also remember thinking “I wish I could remember these experiences so I can write them down” or “it's only a minute and a half, but it feels longer”. The last thing I realized was the coldness in my fingers that held the glass, in contrast to the heat I feel in this room.

Would you believe me if I told you that this exercise can teach us very relevant things for a fuller musical performance? In this post, I will explain what they are. But first, I will develop the example of the glass of water a little more.

If you followed the previous exercise, you will already have a physical notion of what is known as awareness on the present moment or mindfulness. Mindfulness is paying attention in a specific way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally (Kabat-Zinn, 1994). For a minute and a half, my intention was to drink water at half speed, concentrating on the sensations, thoughts, and emotions (i.e., mental events) that were occurring in the moment, without judging whether any of these mental events were "good," "bad", "unpleasant" or "nice".

Additionally, during that minute and a half, I also had to adjust my behavior towards my goal of drinking water at half the usual rate. At times I forgot the instructions, or I had thoughts that distracted me from keeping my attention on drinking water slowly and noticing the mental events that arose. Some thoughts were functional, such as “remember experiencing the sensations,” while others were nonfunctional, such as “it's only a minute and a half, but it feels longer” (note that I rate these thought events as functional or nonfunctional according to my goal: drink water at half speed. I do not rate them as "correct" or "incorrect"). That is, being in a state of mindfulness also requires constantly adjusting our attention and behavior. It's like when we alternate our balance from one side to the other when we ride a bike.

In short, carrying out an activity with mindfulness requires being in that state (i.e., focusing my attention intentionally, in the present moment and without judgment) and staying in it for the duration of the task. However, in daily life, we often operate out of a state of mindfulness.

When we are not in a state of full consciousness, we react to our mental events many times without realizing that we have been "hijacked" by them. Have you ever had a problem that you focused on for hours trying to find a solution? Have you obsessively worried about how your body looks in the mirror? Have you been browsing on your phone without really paying attention, only to realize that over an hour has passed? Have you smoked every time you have a craving? All are examples of not being in a state of full consciousness (Juncos & de Paiva e Pona, 2023). They are all examples of mental events or behaviors that we have experienced or executed automatically, without intention, without realizing that we are in that state, and quite possibly judging them as "correct", "incorrect", "unpleasant" or "pleasant". Now that you have an idea of what it means to be fully conscious and what it means not to be in that state, I will move on to the musical aspect, for which I have based myself on the work of Juncos & de Paiva e Pona (2023).

Those of us who have had the experience of playing for an audience (this can also be applied to the experience of playing during our practice) will have noticed that sometimes we feel completely absorbed in the interpretation: Time seems to stop or subordinate to our execution, we are attentive to the sounds we produce and react accordingly, occasional errors do not stop the performance because you are still guided by the music you hear in your head, the music seems to unfold by itself and you are a medium. But we've also had times when we seem to get distracted by everything but our task: We're afraid something will go wrong before we play, we're more focused on hitting the right notes, we think about that super-complicated passage where we always get it wrong and it's about to come, we think about what the jury or our teacher will think, etc. The first case is an example of mindfulness; the second, of not being in a mindfulness state. Among musicians it is common to hear that reaching full awareness while playing is very difficult, almost random. While the most common is to deal with the concerns of not being fully aware. We want more of the first and less of the second. The good news is that there are tools to get closer to that goal.

Learning to play mindfully is under our control and can be practiced. For example, my goal might be to play a scale on the piano where each note sounds like the previous one and not feel a break in the note progression from finger changes. I can focus my attention on the sound produced by each finger, looking for the next note to have a similar intensity to the previous one. I can also focus on the sensation in my body and if I feel any tension, breathe and take time to relax before continuing. When it's time to cross my fingers, I can focus on the preparation of the movement and the sound produced. If it's not what I'm looking for, I can adjust my behavior and try again. All these instructions are functional towards my goal. But it is possible to experience many nonfunctional states of mind regarding my goal: I may think it is very boring, I may get distracted by my phone, I may get distracted and start playing the scale automatically, etc. The idea is to redirect our attention (regain balance on the bike) towards our goals. It is this ability to focus and redirect our attention towards our goal that can be improved with practice. This practice can be adapted to increasingly complex tasks, until practicing them in the repertoire that we are going to interpret.

The goal of practicing mindfulness playing is to direct our attention and energy toward behaviors that are functional for us and be less distracted by mental states and behaviors that are not functional for us. Why does it matter? Because mindfulness is intimately related to reaching that state of absorption in the task. By practicing mindfulness, we will increase the chances of letting ourselves be carried away by the music and enjoying the journey.

If you want to know more about my work and my consulting services for musicians experiencing anxiety, I invite you to check out my website: alvarochang.com.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels.

References

Juncos, D. G. & de Paiva e Pona, E. (2022). ACT for musicians: A guide for using Acceptance and Commitment Training to enhance performance, overcome performance anxiety, and improve well-being. Universal Publishers. 

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. New York, NY: Hyperion.

Praxis (2023). ACT Immersion: An introduction to ACT as a process-based therapy [online course]. Retrieved from https://act.courses/signup/